Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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