Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
