I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
