my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
