She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
