The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
