This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
