I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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