love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
