For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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