Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
