...so i touched it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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