Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
