you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
