i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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