Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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