I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
