It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
