Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
