I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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