Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
