it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
