she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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