So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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