So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My feet surprised me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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