it wasn't lemon gatorade
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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