the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
nutella sex= disaster
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
