I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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