Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
