Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
nutella sex= disaster
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
