Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
50% drunk capacity currently
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
