btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Small penises have feelings too.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
