so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
