the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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