Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
