I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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