All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
