pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
