Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
