she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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