I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
