NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
