I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
