as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
