we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
True strength comes from lack of pants
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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