How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
