White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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