i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The best revenge is premature balding
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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