Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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