I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
