That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
