This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
