Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sext me about skeletons
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
